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The definition on her site is benign: “Dating several men (at least 3) all at the same time.You accept the date with the man who calls first, and do not shuffle times or even think about manipulating the schedule in order to get dates with the man you like best, or dates to the most fun places. What Rori calls Circular Dating, I just call “dating”.
And a responsible decision-maker doesn’t make the decision to marry a woman until he knows her for a really long time and can see how she handles life situations.I had one girlfriend who nearly had a heart attack every time I picked up a Maxim magazine.She may have been entitled to her feelings, but her insecurity that I couldn’t be attracted to her if I was also attracted to a model ended up destroying our relationship.Even her own therapist told her that I was a normal guy and that she should temper her jealous overreactions.So while I’ll never tell you that you’re not entitled to feel what you feel, if what you feel (anxiety, fear, insecurity) becomes your boyfriend’s problem – when he hasn’t done anything wrong – it’s really on you to deal in a healthier fashion.Meaning: a woman can tell her devoted boyfriend of a year that since she doesn’t yet have a ring, she’s going to see other people. Believe me, I understand the emotion behind Circular Dating.
All you have to do is read this blog to know that I am intimately familiar with the frustrations and fears of women.My argument against circular dating centers around only one simple premise: If you have a boyfriend who is consistent and kind and also wants to be married one day, and you tell him, in a moment of insecurity, that you can’t stand waiting any longer – “it’s been seven months and we’re not engaged, so I’m going to start seeing other men” – you’re essentially taking a dagger to the heart of your relationship.And if you have a boyfriend who isn’t consistent, isn’t kind, and never wants to be married, there’s no need to “circular date”. No one wants to waste time on a dead-end relationship. And try though I might, I can’t think of too many confident men who feel that their exclusive girlfriend has a right to date other men after 6 months, 12 months or 18 months, merely because she’s insecure that he might not marry her. I tried, in vain, to reiterate my point of view – which is that I’m offering a constructive, not destructive, criticism of circular dating. To figure out, over the course of time, if he wants to spend the next 35 years with you. You might have a strong chemistry and a great feeling about a guy, but lifetime relationships take years to forge, not months.Circular dating is about Free Therapy and practicing Rori Raye Tools. Be proactive, date lots of people, have fun, don’t get too excited about a promising prospect – we’re all on the same page so far.Where this concept of Circular Dating breaks down for me, however – the reason I wanted to guest blog on her website – is this idea: The concept of circular dating (CDing) is ostensibly supposed to last . Yes, there’s something highly discordant about this principle, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head for nearly a week.Which is why I’m always flattered when Rori reaches out to tell me she enjoyed one of my newsletters or wants to mention me in a blog post.