Dating a new cop
Dating a new cop
Her husband's behavior left her feeling excluded and resentful.
When you wear a badge and a gun you have to stay calm and just block out the horror, anger and frustration.
When I met Nick he made all those unhappy memories disappear. She leaves long messages on my cell phone telling me what a horrendous person I am. I deal with conflict 24/7 — I don't need it from my wife.
Now I feel as if I'm living the nightmare all over again." His Turn "I'm not the one who has changed," said Nick, 39. "Liz was concerned about my being a cop before we got married, but I tried to calm her fears. How come other wives can handle this and she falls apart?
"A few months ago Nick was promoted to the highest rank and offered a prestigious desk job. And there's something every single day, whether it's karate, soccer and basketball for the older kids or gymnastics and swimming for the younger one.
At first I was thrilled — finally, I thought, we could have a normal life! True, he's off the streets, and that's reassuring, but his days are even longer now than they used to be! "When the kids were younger he used to help with child care and housework, but now? I'm exhausted trying to keep everyone happy — and then Nick has the nerve to order me around like I'm a new recruit.
That would be an incredible honor, and it would mean a lot more with the support of a loving wife.
But that's one thing I'm missing right now." The Counselor's Turn Liz and Nick's issues were not that different from those that all parents of young kids face.
In my new job I have a different kind of stress — management issues, everyone jockeying for position. "I take a lot of pride in my work and I've earned the respect of my fellow officers as I've moved up the ranks.
And if I handle this new job well, I have a shot at being the head honcho.
But she doesn't seem to remember that, either — or the fact that husbands and wives are supposed to have sex with each other! "Every day while driving home I promise myself that tonight things will be better. If I'm five minutes late, she'll hiss, ' Where were you?
' It's never ' I want to hear about your day, sweetheart.' It's an inquisition.
"Although police officers may insist, as Nick did, that their work doesn't change them, they must rein in their emotions in order to deal with danger and violence on a daily basis.