Prisoner dating psychology
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In studies cited by Park and Colvin, narcissists were found to criticize the source of negative feedback.Narcissists, they propose, also like to see themselves as high on “agentic” motives of achievement and power.
Try as you might to ignore the insult, part of it may stick, and you worry that there truly is something truly "wrong" with you—that you really are "stupid," "ugly," or a "jerk." You might assume that those who insult you aren't trying to make you feel bad.
Insults can also tap into your defensive vein, sometimes to ill effect.
You may decide you’re going to your father-in-law wrong by loudly announcing your latest pay raise at every possible occasion.
Conversely, people high in self-esteem but narcissism prefer to set goals that involve getting along with others, or “communal” motives.
Most people rate themselves higher than they rate others (the “better-than-average” effect), but if the logic of Park and Colvin’s study holds true, narcissists should be especially likely to do so with regard to power and achievement.
Randall Colvin investigated the question of whether narcissists would be more likely than others to adopt a disparaging approach toward others, whether or not they feel threatened.
In their words, “Narcissistic individuals create psychological breakwaters to keep threatening information from reaching their highly favorable self-concept” (p. These “psychological breakwaters” may include a protective barrier of personal putdowns toward anyone they think is better than they are.You might imagine that they think they’re being funny, or believe they’re showing affection, being familiar enough to prod you with a few well-placed barbs.Insults may stem from an inadvertent snub, such as sending you an email saying you weren’t selected for something you felt you deserved—a restaurant manager, say, implies that you’re not high enough on the “A” list to merit a reservation at the height of the dinner rush.However, some regard narcissism as a cover-up for an extreme sense of vulnerability or personal inadequacy.According to this view, narcissists insult others to feel better about themselves.And if you find yourself insulting people without knowing why, it’s possible that you have a narcissistic streak that you need to learn to control. However, most narcissist come from traumatic beginnings where they where beet down by family and or outside influences for their smarts or weight or smell or cloths.