Pua online dating websites
Pua online dating websites
Not coincidentally, comments about sticking to writing about makeup or fashion are the same dismissive remarks that get made to me online by MRA trolls. I guess I saw Andy* in these individual moments as more curmudgeonly or persnickety rather than misogynist.It was only when I looked at them in aggregate that I realized he was relentless in his complaints about the fairer sex.
Men are taught to engage in certain behaviors to make her feel “safe” in his prescence and even to intentionally insult her (“negging”) to put her off guard.
In time I started to see, though, how maybe Andy honestly that woman.
Even though at first I found him charming and intelligent, it soon became clear that we could not relate to each other.
Ladies are called difficult, needy, manipulate, crazy, shrill, and a whole litany of other qualities which make you wonder why these men are obsessed with the opposite sex (especially given how MRAs so revile us).
Clearly, I’ve set the stage to make my ex-boyfriend sound like a douchebag.
The one-night stands seemed like a pattern of behavior — which, as his girlfriend, I would want more information on — so I asked him about it directly.
A bit embarrassed but nevertheless willingly, Andy* told me straight-up that he and his close group of guy friends used to use pickup artist “tricks” to bring home women. Admitting that he’d engaged in pickup artistry was a red flag regarding his behavior around women.
He was also a person who’d claimed to have had a “virgin/whore dichotomy” problem — which he’d blamed on his Catholic upbringing — and he said he’d had to get over that during his 20s. If I could go back and do my relationship with Andy over, I would have heeded these red flags and ended things sooner than I did.
But ever so willing to see the good in others, I’d thought that it showed growth on his part that he now wanted to date a woman like me: opinionated, feisty, strong, educated.
I packed up my bag, marched out of his apartment, and dumped him the next day. Even though we were equals in the realm of who paid for dinner, he wanted to wear the pants (outside the bedroom, I mean) not as a ” That’s true, certainly, but since I didn’t know I was dating one until we were already boyfriend and girlfriend, I will say something else: dating Andy taught me to heed the red flags sooner.
I don’t really know what his problem was (mommy issues? Giving people the benefit of the doubt is a lovely quality.
I tried to ignore it, or at least explain it away, but I couldn’t help but become concerned by the uncomfortable vibe he gave off.