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12-Sep-2015 23:53 by 9 Comments

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For now, Maya's filtered her preferences on the dating apps she still uses to only see people of color, hoping to avoid some of the disconnect she's previously experienced.And when she still encounters ignorance, she has a genius game plan: "I usually wax eloquent about [things like] my work, racial justice organizing, and Black Lives Matter...until they feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable, and then I never speak to them ever again." Lots of praise hands emojis for you, Maya.

But it's never felt intentional," she explains.

When Maya changed her preferences from only women to men and women on Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel, suddenly her potential matches were Indian guys, even though she'd listed no preference.

Yes, people are often attracted to others with similar backgrounds, but must you factor that so decisively into your algorithms, ye dating sites of little faith?

They see my delight in swiping, an activity most of them find boring or even disheartening at this point, as refreshing.

But I've never actually been on a dating app as myself, a black woman. Yes, online dating seems fun from where I'm standing, but I think doing it as a woman of color would damage my faith in humanity.

The clip is a great summary of so much annoying racial asshattery. All of the above isn't to say that race-related comments upset every woman who deals with them. Monica K., 26, an Asian woman in Baltimore, Maryland, hasn't come across these situations when online dating.

But guys have approached her in person to say things like, "I've never had an Asian before." "It's like I'm a Pokemon card," says Monica.Swiping through friends' dating apps gives me a legal high.Like a lot of other women in long-term relationships, I totally missed the online-dating boat.My hope is that my friends let me play romantic roulette with their love lives because they think my job affords me some top-secret dating intel.In reality, they probably just let me do it because of how much it fascinates me.In contrast to black women, who every racial group except black men rated as less attractive than average, all the men in the study rated Asian and Latina women as more attractive than average.